I started Qigong classes on Thursday.  In my google searches for energy and energy healing, which is my current obsession, I came across this modality.

It is a healing art, a way of working with your Chi, or energy, the Chi of the Universe.
It’s as if my interest in Quantum Physics (yeah, yeah, I know) and Reiki came together and showed me that Qigong exists.

It was an interesting group – I was worried about being an older, out of shape woman.  I didn’t need to worry, because there were more of “my type” in the room than I had anticipated.

I’m not sure what most of the participants were expecting, I don’t know how much research they did, or if they were expecting a martial art; only time will tell.

But I felt like I had found “my place”.  The group facilitator gave us a bit of the theory and background of Qigong.  (And I mean “a bit”, it is an endlessly fascinating subject touching on history and medicine and healing and spirituality and the Universe and energy, and so on)  She spoke of energy and quantum physics, where there is only energy and intelligence.  This is a basic tenet of quantum physics, there is either a particle or a wave, we are all both, and another tenet – how we manifest depends on who is observing us.

If this mind/body/energy thought seems too esoteric, think of the extremely powerful, extremely real phenomenon of the Placebo Effect.  Merely by being told they are taking powerful medicine, peoples’ headaches, rashes and even tumors shrink or disappear.  Think about that!

Then she led us in an exercise to fill our bodies with the generous abundance energy of the Universe.  It was fabulous, and I can’t wait for the next class.  In fact, I’m not, I’m doing the “exercises” each day, with a smile on my face.


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Ketosis is a beautiful thing.  Ketosis (not to be mistaken for ketoacidosis, which is a physiologically distinct and nasty entity) is the state your body is in when it no longer has carbohydrates or glucose to run on.  It has to turn to fat for fuel.  Your body burns fat into ketone bodies that it can use for fuel.  Even the brain can be switched over to ketone bodies for fuel.  Only the retina and red blood cells absolutely need glucose to thrive.

So the beauty of ketosis is that it renders you NOT hungry.  Since the body is running on its own fat supplies, (which I probably have enough of to last from now to Christmas), it is never hungry.  I just have to remember to periodically feed the body some protein (of course I don’t eat all protein, the other macronutrients carbohydrates and fats are in my food, just in small amounts) so that I don’t burn my muscle tissue.

I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist.  I am not advocating anything here.  I am just telling you MY experience.

I am not hungry, but I am not full either.  It’s an odd (for me) light empty feeling.  Since I know I don’t need any more food/fuel physiologically, I now have to deal with the emotional side of feeling “empty”.

I don’t typically overeat or a massive binge all at one time, rather I prefer to feel slightly “full” all the time.  Feeling full feels “safer” somehow.  I don’t know the genesis of that feeling.  Now I know that technically, I’m safe.  I’m not about to be attacked by a sabertooth tiger.  But it’s not a physical safety I crave.  Somehow it feels emotionally safer to feel full.  I don’t remember why.

That’s the pearls of wisdom I need to tease out here to be successful.  Feeling slightly empty, (and it’s not just my tummy, but all my cells feel oddly empty) leads to a slight free floating anxiety.  I just have to chat with my body, my cells, my inner child to see what that is all about.

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The Journey

Ok, I am finally listening to all the thoughts in my head, and the doctor’s tests and admonitions and the gentle requests (thoughtfully delivered, “Mom, you are going to die”) of my son to take care of myself.

It doesn’t feel impossible, in fact it feels like I have been preparing for this for a long time.  I have read books on metabolic syndrome, insulin resistance, ketosis, intermittent fasting, how to lose weight, how to keep it off, how to exercise, how to overcome emotional eating, how to just get off the damn couch and do it.

So now I am taking the time and the effort and the expense and the grit to do it.  I have been on the path for three weeks already.  I am shocked at how easy it seems.  I know there are huge obstacles ahead and nothing is easy.  Well, I do “know” that, but in fact I am doing a lot of praying, and meditating.  I am invoking healing Reiki on myself, my emotions and my body.  So I am not standing idly by, watching myself undergo deprivation.

Rather, my research led me to believe that the maligned Low Carb (which is, in fact, being vindicated in the mainline press finally!) Way of Eating (no sense in using that other overused, sad word) is the way to go for someone with Metabolic Syndrome.  I actually feel good on Low Carb, and don’t feel deprived (have to bottle up those feelings for when it gets tougher!)

I have several of the markers of metabolic syndrome, and I am annoyed with myself.  I am annoyed because I was the cause of it, either overtly or by omission.  But, you know, by admitting I am the cause of it, I can take responsibility and make the change!

Isn’t that liberating?  If I wanted to be taller or younger or prettier, well tough luck.  But smaller butt?  I can manage that on my own.

So, here’s to sharing too much information.  I am seeing (through a haze) the start of the POINT of all of “this”.  I have taken 3 levels of Reiki training.  I am registered to take a Reflexology Certification Training course.  I think I want to be a healer!  No, I know I am a healer and I just have to sculpt the healer out of the marble, as Michelangelo stated:

“In every block of marble, I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action.  I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”

I need to work my way through the process, a physical, emotional, and spiritual healing in order to guide others back through the jungle, over the abyss and into peace, grace and serenity (and good health).

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BlogFlash #5 Mental Health

You never knew what you had until you lost it.  Nothing could be truer than about Mental Health.  Attempt to define it though and the points scatter through the cosmos as so much confetti.

Do you have delusions or hallucinations?  Well, yes, sometimes.  But I call them daydreams?

Do you think people are talking about you?  Well, yes, we often do, it’s called gossip.

The line separating genius from mental ill health is butterfly wing thin, you can readily see through the veil.  What is the difference between psychic and psychotic?

We know nothing.

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BlogFlash #4 Books

There are an unimaginable amount of books on the planet today.  Really.  I can’t even imagine what people are even saying in them given that “Everything Under the Sun has Already Been Written”.

But as each snowflake differs, so too does each soul, each human experience, qualities, impressions which colors each new book with a flavor burst of uniqueness.

I just have to figure out how to find the time to read them all.

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BlogFlash 2013 #3 Innocence

Innocence makes on think of puppies and kitties and babies and fairies and hummingbirds.

Intead, I think of the joyful bride I was at 18 when I still believed in happily ever after.

Fifteen years later when my husband found his new wife while still married to me, my innocence was shattered.

It’s okay, though, because what moved into its place was wisdom.  The wisdeom to recognize that marriage is hard work and sometimes isn’t meant to be forever.  The wisdom to wish him well.  The wisdom to appreciate the joy and peace that is my life now.

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Blog Flash 2013 #2 Technology

I love me my technology.  Often I am sitting in front of my computer, writing something, skimming Facebook, Googling, while I have my iPad beside me, reading a book on my kindle app.  Meanwhile I am texting my sons or sister on my cell phone.  I am a loner, so social media was, at first, something to hide behind.  Instead, it has opened me up to the possibility of the richness of friendship

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